Falling Creek Park VaD race #4

Falling Creek Park

VaD Race #4

Bedford, VA

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Another day of racing. This is the 4th race of the VaDerailer Series. It is amazing how every course is different. After Lynchburg, I thought I had improved my technical skills enough not to be beaten up by a course. Danville really kicked my butt. Although Bedford was equally difficult, it was completely different. There were several off camber switchbacks. There were several very steep short sections that would catch you by surprise. For us geared folks, the wrong gear meant lots of horrible noise from the drivetrain and pushing a bike uphill. For a detailed description of the course see Warren Schimizzi's post. I think he remembered every root, log hop, and switchback there was. Well I guess after you make 4 laps around it, you tend to remember those things.

I have yet to develop the "skills" needed to successfully ride a course like this. Skippy demonstrated some fine-tuned skills before the race, thanks skip.

.

I knew that I was going to have difficulty on the course as soon as Warren responded to my question about the course. Warren started salivating from the mouth as he described the course. He loves this type of course. He's not all right. Something has to be wrong with him. He knows they make gears for bikes yet he chooses to ride a single speed.

I viewed the series standings and saw that am 5th overall in the Sport 36-49 class. Not too bad for a newbie. Last race teammate Chip Camper passed me and I tried to stay with him as long as I could. He finished 4th in that race and about 3 minutes ahead. He is 2nd overall in the points standings. So my goal this was was to try to stay with Chip again. I liked the way they started the race. Enough of a ride to spread out the group. Even at that, those first few switchbacks and slick uphill section created havoc for all these testosterone filled guys. Paula and the biker chics have got it right. Don't waste energy fighting that stuff, just let them go and catch them later

.

The first lap was a little crazy and I felt slow. We get in this section with logs. There were logs like every 30 feet. I am ok with logs if I have the speed to hop them. They were like speedbumps for me. I almost came to a stop on some of them losing valuable inertia and time. And then there was that 10 ft high log. Ok, maybe it wasn't 10 feet. There was no one in front of me showing me if it was ridable. So, I hopped off only to watch the kid behind me easily ride over it. Well, I did make it the next 3 laps. Then there was a twisty uphill section with a tight, uphill right hand turn.

It looked undoable for me. At that time fellow teammate Chris Clark was on my wheel so I hopped off to let him by. Bam, he rolled right over through that section. Way to go Chris! He inspired me to make it on the next 3 laps.

.

There were sections through some fields that gave much needed relief. There was even a section along the creek that was almost flat and wide. But my tires felt like they had 10 lbs of pressure. I could not ever get those tires to turn over. I felt like the course was riding me as opposed to me riding the course. That first lap was horrible. And I thought, "I have 3 more to go." The next 3 did go by a little better. I didn't get faster but handled the course a little better. I normally don't unclick around switchbacks but I tried unclipping the inside foot, lock the rear brakes and sliding around. Really cool, I did that a couple of times. Well except for the one time.
Flashback to highschool. I am cruising along in my 65 Mustang convertible. I'll have a post about my car sometime, I still have it. Being cool as only I can be. I am making a right hand turn when some hot babes yell out my name. I glanced over my shoulder to check it out and ran all over the curb. Luckily I didn't hit anything or cause damage.

Back to the race. I get ready to hit that 2nd switchback and I hear a females voice call out my name. I'm a single guy, what do you think I did. The same thing I did 20 years ago! I GLANCED. My weight was not distributed correctly and I nearly skidded right through the switchback. It was Paula. She is so cruel. I could hear hear laughing hysterically as I tried to get back on the trail and mount my bike. Well, she didn't really laugh hysterically. She did say, "sorry" and on the next lap waited for me to get around the switchback until she said something--thanks.

Another goal of mine was not to let the expert class lap me. I even had my crowbar with me just in case they tried to go by. Maybe that is why I was slow, those things weight 12 lbs. About half-way through the final lap, the first expert guy flew by. It wasn't teammate Ron or Todd, what's up with that, I wondered. Then a few minutes later another expert came around. Those guys were flying. A few more minutes went by and I heard a voice, "A little help." It was Todd and he had some distance to make up. Todd finished 3rd for the day. I was glad to see the grassy field meaning the finish was about .5 miles away. As I turned up the final climb, I heard a rider behind me. Skippy was about to lap me at the finish. I held him off only by a few seconds. Man those guys can fly.

Had a great day and always enjoy racing.

Team ElToreo had excellent results.

I think almost all the racers placed! Way to go.

Post-race ride home. I am a huge UGA, University of GA, fan. Since the early 80's, I have been traveling to Athens and all over the SEC watching the dawgs play. Since I don't get a radio broadcast of their games in VA, I called the home for play by play updates. It wasn't good. They are playing unranked Colorado and are getting beat 13-0 in the 3rd quarter. Also, what was up with the drivers on the way home? There was more carnage on the roadside than the trails. There were wrecks everywhere. I reach Fincastle and head on 220 North towards Covington. The game made the drive home a little quicker. Dawgs on Colorado's 2o yard. . .down by 6. . . 1 minute left. . .redshirt freshman Cox drops back to pass. . .throws it deep in the endzones to tightend Milner. . .TOUCHDOWN. . .extra point good. . .Dawgs win. Sweet.

Then there was the wreck on 220. Not me but about 10 minutes in front. The wreck happened on North 220 about 3 miles before 220 turns to single lane. I was one of the first cars to be stopped. A helicopter flew in and took on of the injured to the hospital. I had been there for 45 minutes and a EMT guy said they were still getting another person out and it will probably be another 30-60 minutes. I looked back and traffic was backed up for miles. About that time a young lady pulled up and said, "Would you like me to show you how to get around this?" "You bet," I replied. I hopped in the car and began to follow. Several others followed in line too. We made so many turns I couldn't remember how to do it again. The road turned into a tight, gravel road where two cars would have difficulty passing. All of sudden I thought, "What have I done?" This could be a psycho killer. She could stop the car at any point and kill us all. There was no where to go. We were at her mercy. My fears subsided as the dark woods opened up and I saw 220 North, just beyond the accident. Wow. That experience stimulated my reverend skills. My mind is always linking life and the Christian faith. Many times in a "cheesy" way but often in real lessons that can be applied in life. Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life" (John 14:6). All of our lives involves crashes, roadblocks and times of hopelessness. When we follow the Way, we will safely be lead through these obstacles of life. .

.

Here are some pics from the race. Feel free to copy.

Blonde Chics and Training Wheels

What do Blonde chics and training wheels have in common? Well, I really don't know. However, I do know that guys will do most anything to impress the gals. So who better to get Seth to start riding without training wheels? A blonde, 6 yr old girl. I have been working with Seth off and on trying to get him to rid himself of those training wheels.


One day we went to the park and I said, "Seth, today is your lucky day. Today you are going rid yourself of the vices of training wheels." I took the extra wheels off, he reluctenly hopped on. After a few attempts, without falling, he began to cry and said, "daddy, my bike doesn't like you doing this to it." We kept trying. It was the classic seen of the dad holding up the kid as he/she attempts to pedal and balance. I never let him go but he was a little scared.




During the first VaD race in Rocky Mount, Seth became upset that I didn't take him with me. So I promised him I would take him to the next race in Danville. Ryan, Alexis, Seth, and I stayed at Ryan's grandmother's house that evening in Roanoke. As we began to head out to get something to eat, a blonde 6 yr old got Seth's attention and they started talking. Seth went back to the car to get his favorite coloring book to show her. I think she was impressed. She invited him to come over and play when we returned from dining. After a hearty meal at Outback, we arrived back at the house around 8:30 and headed inside. There is a knock on the door and its the little girl, Olivia. She asked if Seth could come out and play. Seth told her about the bike race. Well she went across the street to get her bike and came flying down the hill back to Seth. SHE WAS ON A MEDIUM SIZE BIKE AND WITHOUT TRAINING WHEELS--WOW. I was so impressed with her riding skills that I asked if she could teach Seth and then I let nature takes its course. It took a lot of work on her part, but she started him off on the little hills and off he went. He talked about how it would hurt if he fell and she demonstrated by intentionally falling while descending to show him it would be OK. She was tough. They stayed out in the yard until 10:30 riding bikes.

I have a really large yard with a slight slope downhill to the creek. Its about a 200 yard run. Seth hasn't developed the climbing legs yet so we rigged up a high tech bike carry system. We hooked the trailer behind the mower and loaded the bike. He was really excited about that. We made about 10 runs down the course that day. Too much fun! Here he is loading his bike



















Heading downhill




















dig a hole, add water and a instant puddle. Getting him ready for the Rocky Mnt River crossing.










Ever since then, Seth has been wide open on the bike. He is even coming up with crazy ideas like jumping ramps and hopping over things. Here are some videos and pics of his newly learned skills.

Not sure how the videos work but I think I attached a few for your viewing. Sorry the poor quality and sideways viewing. I don't know how to rotate a video.

double click the arrow in the center of the video

UPHILL RIDE

DOWNHILL RIDE.

THE JUMP

Memories of Monkeys--Commonwealth Games--Mtb Omnium

Commonweath Games

Mtb Omnium

July 8-9, 2006

link

http://www.roanokecycling.org/games/rmbo.asp

TT

http://www.roanokecycling.org/games/rmbo-m2t2.asp

Mtb Race

http://www.roanokecycling.org/games/rmbo-c4.asp

He is a slideshow titled

"Memories of Monkeys"

Middle Mountain Mamma Race Report

What do you get when you mix 21.8 Miles with 4k feet of climbing on some of the best mountain bike trails in the country?

MIDDLE MOUNTAIN MOMMA

Sunday September 17th
Douthat Park

This is my home course. It much different from the tight, twisty stuff in the VaD series. Lots of climbing and lots of downhill. And, some really cool switchbacks. I didn't exactly do the race but I did ride the course with about an 1.5 hr late start. Almost felt like Ron for a minute starting late. I only get 4 vacation Sundays a year and so I can't do every race on Sunday. I just wish more races were on Saturday. I understand that "old school" use to be the race had to be on Sunday because the majority of people that raced were bike shop workers and they have to work on Saturday. But I think times have changed and more races should be moved to Saturday because more preachers are racing and they have to work on Sunday. Actually, I don't know any preachers that race Mtb. Oh well. Besides the power sport NASCAR races on Sunday and EVERYONE is a NASCAR fan. Personally, I don't see the grand appeal of it but most can't stand watching golf on TV and I love it.

So I called Kyle Inman and asked if I could do a late start. He came up with a great idea. I could be a Sweeper. Cool, ideas of secret ops came to mind. Covering up the mess that other people make. Hey wait, I already do that. The movie, "Men in Black" came to mind. I wonder if I would get my own device to erase people's memory. That might not be a bad idea after climbing Mountain Top. Man that's some steep stuff. I then tried to find a carbon broom to take with me but they cost too much. Forgoing the extra weight of a traditional wooden handle broom, I set off to "sweep" the course of all riders.

Within a mile of the start, a bee or something with a stinger landed on my leg and popped me really hard. I met my first rider, xpert pro, finishing. He looked too fresh to have done the whole course. I guess his finish time was somewhere around 2 hrs. That is totally sick. I hope to do the course in 3:15. Made it over to Stoney Run, plugged my MP3 in and began the climb. I road Stoney a little conservative because I knew that Mountain Top would eat me up. Top Stoney and began Salt Stump descent, that is a nasty descent, in 1:09. Heading down the descent I caught a rider. WOW, this guy must have been lost. He was a Jr Expert. He didn't say what happened and I thought he was going to drop out when he reached the bottom. They did finally find him about 6pm and he was safe with his parents.

Salt Stump is a wicked descent. A good descender can fly down this section. I take it more at a medium pace and make it to the bottom in about 17 minutes with a total ride time of about 1:27 with Mountain Top lurking ahead. I have yet to make Mountain Top without having to get off the bike. There are some steep sections that just don't let up. Made it to the top of Mountain Top in 30 minutes. Total ride time 1:57. And the top experts are finishing around that time. Unbelievable.

Down the other side, a little more climbing then a fun descent with lots of switchbacks to the swinging bridge. I was happy to see the bridge because I knew I had about 30 minutes left to the finish. The descent down Brushy took 13 minutes. That is fast for me. I even caught up with a Clydesdale race. Crossed over the bridge, and headed towards Stoney Run. Total time 2:33. I realized at that point I might finish under 3 hrs! I was pumped about that so I pushed a little harder and took a few more chances in those 5 creek crossing on Stoney. My legs were feeling the punishment of Mountain Top and I couldn't turn the cranks as hard as I desired. Finally, hooked back up Blue Suck and descended to the finish where there were no crowds cheering. Everyone had packed up and left except the workers.

Total unofficial ride time

3:05:53

I did get a cool T-shirt for helping and didn't have to pay a entry fee so I was pleased with my ride and day. It was kinda weird not starting with a large group fighting for position. I certainly didn't have the intensity that is normally there during the race. The lack of traffic, for better or worse, kept me within my limits. I would have just gone out and taken some pictures at cool spots but I wanted to get a good ride in. Ryan Middleton raced the Jr. xpert division and got 2nd place. He was pumped about that. His ride time was very close to 3 hrs.

Rocky Mount VaD Series #1

VaD Series #1

Rocky Mount VA

August 13, 2006

Race link to the series

http://www.vaderailerseries.com/

Link to race

http://vaderailerseries.com/?page_id=5

Results of race

http://vaderailerseries.com/results/race1.php

This post is really late. Its from the first VaD race in Rocky Mount. I received persmission to copy/paste some of the photos taken of the race. Thought some were really cool.















Ron doing a little rafting. I should have tried it and gotten a good pic of not making it. That was some deep stuff. I didn't think anyone could make it through.














Ryan's second mtb race.











This guy is a beast. Keith Simpson of Covington. He was in an auto accident years ago and has a few dissabilities. But don't tell him that. He is sponsored by Virginia Prostetics and competes in a variety of athletic events. Notice his handlebars. Only one rear brake and both shifters on the same side. I have a hard enough time weaving thru the course with two good hands. He has just published a book and I hope to have a link to that soon.

Ryan "I wreck everytime I ride" Middleton. Seriously, he wrecks about 80% of the time. I don't know how he does it. so if yo see him on the course watch out. Here's the scope for that day. We go out for a short warmup on the course. We ride down the gravel section to the first river crossing. I get to the river and he is no where to be found. A couple of minutes later, he shows up covered in mud. WTH happened. He was going slow through the gravel and somehow fell.
















His dad fixed him up with some caution tape to warn other riders during the Moutain Mama Century.



















The future of El Toreo.
















This guy thought you had to ride upstream for a while.
















This one speaks for itself

Mountian Mama Century

Mountain Mama Century

August 5th, 2006

Link

http://bikemountainmama.homestead.com/

The Mountain Mama Century is a beautiful ride in Highland County and several surrounding counties. Thats about 90 minutes North of Covington on Hwy 220. Here are a few pics of the ride.

| |

Remember the Sabbath? VaD #3 Lynchburg

| |



Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy is the the fourth commandment. What does the 4th commandment have to do with Mtb? Well, the 3rd race of the VaD series was held on Sunday and in Jerry Falwell country, Lynchburg. Since a preacher works on Sunday, how does a preacher remember the Sabbath? Well, historically, the Sabbath started with sunset on Friday evening and continued through sunset Saturday, but this isn't about Sabbath traditions so I'll try not to linger. I greatly enjoy what I do, being an ordained United Methodist minister and riding bikes. I also enjoy other endurance sports, hiking, and well most any athletic, thrill-seeking activity. I have even made 4 solo jumps out of a perfectly good airplane, without being pushed. But that is another blog for another time. I am still trying to catch up on my race reports.

So why the prelude? Well, for me being a minister is much more than simply preaching on Sunday mornings or carrying out typical pastoral duties. It's a lifestyle. A lifestyle of being a witness to others along my life path. For whatever reason, I am wired for the outdoors and athletic activities. Unfortunately, by VO2 and legs were wired for something less strenuous. As much as I would love to race the expert class and finish before some of the sport class, it probably just aint going to happen. But that is OK, well except for when I am passed by a girl, especially Paula. Paula shouted at the guys this past Sunday, "come on guys...you don't want to get passed by a girl...do you?" http://bikerchickypookie.blogspot.com/ Yeah, no guy likes to be passed by a girl. I am still feeling the pain. Just kidden Paula.

I am still rambling. No wonder I am slow to get these race reports out. Maybe because I didn't preach Sunday and I am writing my sermon. Or maybe its about LIVING the sermon. Sports has always been an avenue for me into the lives of others who may not enter the doors of a church or ever take time to get to know a preacher. The first person I led a person to Christ as an ordained minister did not occur in the walls of a church after my eloquet preaching. It occurred on the floor of a sweaty dojo after karate practice. I was about to carry out my 5 finger death touch (a little Kill Bill 2 humor) upon this kid and I screamed, "REPENT OR DIE!" No, it really didn't happen that way but the kid did come to know Christ that night.

I guess I am getting to the point of legacy, leaving a legacy. What good is it if I can lap the field if I don't introduce this great sport to others. The apostle Paul spoke "I can have faith to move mountains and knowledge to fathom all mysteries, but have not love, I am nothing" (1 Corinthians 13). When we do not share the passions and dreams of our lives with others, those things will die. There were 3, well 4 counting Seth, new cyclists being introduced to the sport of Mountain Biking this Sunday. I was so pumped to see these guys ride hard, get medals and chat about the race afterwards. Pics and details below. Helping Seth around that wet, grassy field to cross the finish line is what it is all about. Was he the first, nope, he was beat by a girl! But seeing the joy of victory in his eyes when he finished and received his medal makes my race great no matter what my results. He didn't think he could finish that day. He kept saying, "daddy my legs hurt, I can't push any harder." I quickly affirmed him that suffering is a part of cycling and to "suck it up and don't let that girl beat you." Not really, but I did offer words of encouragement and helped balance and support him to see the finish. Kinda like the Heavenly Father does us when we get stuck in life.


I did race that day and George Foreman, although present, did not knock me out this time. I had practiced my bobbing and weaving. I also paid the race starter 20 bucks to start the woman 10 minutes behind my group to assure that I wouldn't be passed by a girl. The last race I started out to hard. This one I road within my abilities and had a much better race. Finished 6th out of 15 in my class with a time of 1:53:37. Personally, I thought they should have started the sport age divisions in intervals too. We had about 50 to get bottlenecked in that first section. I only fell once and had to get off the bike two other times. Timed it perfect, just luck, near the pavement section on both laps. A guy passed with about 1 mile to go before the pavement and I hung on his wheel such to benefit a little from the draft. As soon as we hit the pavement, a young kid darted in front and lead us two all the way to the field. That was nice.

I started passing folks during the second lap and had one guy that passed me with about 1 mile before the pavement. So I held on again until the pavement. He took the lead and I happily sat on. This guy looked strong and he was certainly bigger than I so I figured I couldn't wait till the end and attack. I would have to catch him off guard and go early. The pace was kinda slow, his chain in the middle ring, and he wasn't looking for me to go. As soon as we hit the starting line, I attacked as hard as I could for about 100-150 yards. I looked back and realized I must have caught him by total surprise because he was about 6-7 seconds back. I got the gap I wanted but wasn't sure if I could hold it. My legs were killing me and my lungs gasping for air. He was closing the gap. I put in another 15 sec surge. Man did I think I made a mistake. Did I go out too soon? Where is that darn finish? That final turn was never going to come. Then I could see the curve opening up to view the soccer field. The view of the finish and people cheering gave me that extra strength to surge one more time and keep a 3 sec gap to the finish. Sweet, that was fun.

Well that's my race report straight from the Pulpit! Cheers.

Here are a few pics. Feel free to copy and paste














Warren 2nd place single speed.
















Seth getting his medal





































The biker chicks really do rock!

























Paula bring home the gold!




















Greg 2nd place Sport 14-17

his second race. Way to go Greg

























Ron 2nd Expert 36-49




















Ryan Peters 1st Place Novice 14-17. His first race. Sweet!

George Foreman, Hell, and Danville VaD #2

What is the connection with George Foreman, Hell, and Danville? Well, both George and Hell were present at the annual Danville Mtb race September 26th. I am a South GA boy and a United Methodist minister so I know about Hell. I experienced the 100 degree 100% humidity living in South GA and I studied about Hell in seminary. Many scholars debate over the existence and characteristics of Hell. The Bible describes Hell as a place that is really hot, fire and brimstone, weeping and gnashing of teeth, torment and unrelenting pain. Yep, that was it, all wrapped up in a tight, twisty, dusty, whoopdedoo 8.5 mile Mtb course in Danville, VA. I know, you are now wondering what about ole George? Could it be his grill and the fact that it felt like we were cooking in his lean, mean, grilling machine? Nope. George put on his gloves one more time and was hiding behind every 2-inch tree on the course punching riders as they whizzed by.

I don't know if anyone else had that experience but I felt like I had gone 12 rounds with once hard-hitting Foreman. My upper body hadn't had a beating like that in a long time. The race starts and off we go. My legs feel good and I am feeling a little more confident with my technical skills. I hit the singletrack in 5th place and quickly moved up to about 3rd when other riders were falling off the course. I guess I got a little to confident or the course got twistyer (if that's a word). There was George and I saw him but there was nothing I could do. He snuck in a right hook around this little 2 inch tree and bam, I was down in less than a second. All I could do is quickly slide off to the right so I am not stampeded by the riders behind me. Three went by before I could mount and pedal off. Another mile or so there was George again. This time it was a left hook, bam and a few more riders went by. Another couple of miles and he did it again. I think I need some blades on my handlebars to cut through those trees. My legs are still feeling good, so I hop back on and pedal hard to catch up. Then there was the loose sand. I went down 3 other times that first lap from washing out in the turns.

Going down each time felt like ole George punching me somewhere in the body. I kept riding hard, sprint and slow down, sprint and slow down. Then there were the "whoopdedoos," those little rollers that punched me in the chest every time I went through them. Each one felt like I did 10 quick pushups. Multiply that by at least 100 of them and you will get 1000 pushups. I was glad to see the start/finish line on my first lap close to 1 hr. My legs still felt good but I had made several mistakes in this race.

1) Underestimating the length. I guessed it would take me about 45-50 per lap. I went out too hard and about 1/2 way through the 2nd lap my legs began to feel it. Also with going out too hard, I punished my upper body more than necessary by taking corners too fast and hitting trees.

2) Normally in the heat, I use ice in my Camelbak for rides over 2 hrs. I can fill my Mule up with ice, add beverage and have cold fluids for 4 hrs. Putting cold fluids in the body really helps to keep the core temperature down. I underestimating the heat and time on the bike. I figured the shade in the woods would be cool, nope. Then there were the moments riding through the fields. It was like someone opening an oven door. 1/2 through that second lap, my body temp began to rise, my upper body felt like wet noodles, and my legs were wanting to stop.

But then there is the male ego. No guy likes to get beat by a girl. I remember being beat up by a girl in 2nd grade. Everyone made fun of me. I kept looking over my shoulder and there she was. The beast of El Toreo--Paula Schimizzi. She was snarling, growling, and making noises scarier than Satan himself. Memories of being punched out by a girl flashed back. No, I will not be beat by a girl again, NOT THIS TIME! I pushed harder, holding her off until the last mile. She came around, punched me in the nose and laughed as she rode off in the distance. I shook my fist in the air and shouted an old Hebrew curse that was once used by Elisha. The Old Testament prophet Elisha needed a hair transplant and when he entering the local village, some kids laughed at Elisha calling him "baldy." He called down a curse upon them and "two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths" (2 Kings 2:23-25).

Sometimes we say things when in pain. I didn't really mean too but it happened. Paula rode too fast for the bear to catch her but a little heat exhaustion found her shortly after the finish line. Sorry Paula, glad you feel better. Yes, I was beat by a girl. I only finished about 30 seconds ahead of her in the previous race so I think we will be fighting it through the entire series.

Overall I had a great time, enjoyed the fellowship with team El Toreo and didn't need any stitches. Thats a little joke for Ryan. Ryan wreckes about every other ride and we visit the ER. I am going to do a entire post on his riding adventures. He didn't wreck and finished just a few minutes behind me.

Ride hard for the end is near!

Maybe I should change my moto to "ride hard for a bear is chasing you."




Team El Toreo's tent and crew. Sponsored by the best Mexican food in Roanoke!


Ron bringing home the bronze and green. 3rd place overall. Not bad for an old guy.




Chris medaling again. 2nd place, beginner class. Way to go!



Warren the Single speed king. 3rd place Single speed class. Thats right, he races a coaster beach bike, 1 speed. Well, maybe not a beach bike but it is one speed. Just a note to all those wishing you had more gears. Warren finishes faster than most of the people with 27 gears!

http://bicyclesoup.blogspot.com/



Paula aka "the beast" 1st Woman's 35+ Sport division.

http://bikerchickypookie.blogspot.com/


**based on true story, details elaborated, stretched, and embellished for the sake of trying to find humor in Hell. The story about Elisha and the bear is true, look it up. So be careful what you call your minister!